As we all know to be true – to a certain extent – the psychological makeup of men and women can be fundamentally different. How we each process emotions and think about various things can be poles apart. Exploring this science is very beneficial when translated into relationships and our handling of them.
The 'perfect gift' is something very subjective and can be a variety of things and gestures, depending upon the gender and subsequently, on the preferences and personality traits of each individual.
An important thing to remember here is dismissing the “golden rule” and instead adopting the “platinum rule” – treat others how they want to be treated.
When thinking about buying your loved one that ultimate gift to show them just how much you love and appreciate them, consider who they are and the values they hold dear. Are they perhaps a fitness maniac? Are they a do-gooder with a heart of gold? Do they give much weight to luxury and style? Are they a foodie? Depending on the answers to these questions you can take your pick from a range of fitness equipment, giving a charitable donation in their name, a classy gadget, a romantic trip to a succinct little town, etc. The list does go on.
Research states that gift-giving is a proven and tested method of strengthening your relationship. It’s not about the materialistic exchange but rather what it represents.
A great way of showing someone you hold dear you love them is by getting them something that shows how much you know them. It doesn't necessarily have to be a store-bought gift. It can be something that you make yourself, like cooking a dinner that includes their favorite meals, creating a mixtape of their favorite songs, etc.
Needless to say, one of the biggest days of the year for hopeless romantics is Valentine's Day. Historically, the holiday began in ancient Rome but over the course of the centuries, it has become much more commercialized.
This holiday can put a lot of pressure on significant others, especially in the age of social media. You see countless couples going out of their way to think outside the box – don't get me wrong, being creative is actually a good thing. It breaks the monotony long-term couples can fall into, giving and receiving the same things year after year to the point that they ultimately lose their value and the element of surprise.
However, with the numerous social media platforms filled with posts of extravagant gestures, everyone is somehow more focused on trying to one-up the other. It can also create a feeling of anxiety in someone who doesn't have countless notes to spend, barely getting by with the necessities as it is.
Of course, you can always stick with the classics, I mean they are there for a reason, right? It can be both safe while being incredibly romantic – what is the time-tested method of saying I love you? With flowers and a box of chocolates, of course! Perhaps, if you're gonna go all out Shakespearean, start with a declaration of love in a short sonnet written on a card?
But it’s always fun to create new traditions that you and your loved one can follow throughout – hopefully – decades of love shared together. It can be a means of bringing you closer, sharing something that is only yours – a family tradition.
Money doesn’t buy love or happiness, but it certainly can go a long way in showing someone that you mean something to them. I mean you only spend on someone who is of value to you (in most cases anyway).
It’s not so much the gift we are giving but the act itself and the significance behind it. What you are essentially showing is your devotion and love.
While searching for that perfect gift try to think back and reflect on the conversations you’ve had with your partner. Was there perhaps a fun activity they mentioned that they wanted to try out? Or perhaps some restaurant or place they wanted to visit? Going away together could be a really fun way to bond while being a romantic gesture. Likewise, if perhaps your partner is dealing with some pressure you could book them a spa day or take a trip to a secluded countryside.
You might feel the pressure when thinking about what to get your partner, but it isn't really that hard, especially if it is for someone you love. Just relax and let the creative juices flow.
However, if you are in a new relationship and want to do something special, an inspired idea could be reaching out to your partner's friends and family. Or snooping through their Instagram feed (if that’s not too creepy), or maybe just do the adult thing and ask them outright. Doing so can also ensure that you’re getting them something that they will truly appreciate rather than throwing your money down the drain.
According to research, women tend to be more taken with gifts that hold sentimental value. They prize gifts that are personal and reflect their deeper interests. A piece of art that they might love, jewelry, flowers, concert tickets, or perhaps a subscription to a streaming service? And of course, chocolates are great picks for women.
Conversely, men seem to lean towards appreciating more practical gifts, maybe a piece of equipment that might make their life easier, or if he likes the classics (and you have the budget) perhaps a nice watch.
Don’t go for choices that you yourself prefer or like – take the time to consider your partner's perspective.
One important thing to remember is that presentation can be just as important as the gift itself. A beautifully wrapped package can add value and make the gesture much grander than it is. Another nice touch is a note or a card with a heartfelt message to make the gift more personal and thoughtful.
A valuable piece of advice is – don't go beyond your means. Even a simple homemade photo album can mean a lot and convey your love just as effectively as an expensive gift – perhaps even more so. Someone who truly loves you will appreciate the effort and trouble you went through rather than being interested in the materialistic value of what you bought them. Remember – it’s the thought that counts.
Furthermore, in the fast-paced world of today juggling your personal and professional life can be very challenging. Add to this the fact that the era of the internet has made prisoners out of all of us. Whatever leisure time we do have, we spend glued to our screens.
A common complaint relationship counselors hear is the lack of quality time that couples spend, which leads to poor communication and eventually, numerous other problems. So, the best gift to give your partner this Valentine's Day is perhaps the gift of time.
You can be sitting beside each other for hours but if you are immersed in your smartphone instead of the person next to you, that's not really spending time together. The quantity of time spent together does not mean much but rather it is the quality of time spent which works the magic.
According to leading experts and psychologists, it is what can make or break your relationship – quite unsurprisingly.